Apologize?

I know. Yes, I know very well. But what I don't understand is why the innocent need to apologize? I don't want to be taught like that. If it has to be like that all the time, how can someone who is wrong can understand that it is actually her who is wrong.

It's okay if no one apologizes. I don't want to apologize, but I'll assume you apologized. Like "Sorry I'm too sensitive". Yes, I would think that way about you, because that's actually how it was when I was asked to apologize. I don't care now with which one has to give in, because whoever was wrong it seems like someone like that should feel wrong and apologize. Does sorry really mean? Yes, sorry doesn't mean you lose but you realize that you are not always right. You don't understand, do you? Yes, of course, you are always right. But my apologies are not for the guilty. I will say sorry when I was wrong. Usually I will apologize frequently whether I do or not. But not anymore for now. You need to learn and I'm learning, too. I hope we will learn together. Let's be nice from now on! I'm not your doll anymore you can want and what you set to be. I'm entitled to myself too.

Am I really that hard to be a person now? Yes, sorry life is too hard to be weak all the time. Life has become so unfriendly, that I need to learn how to respond to life in the moment.

I was very weak and quite fed up with the life I was living then, now and in the future. I don't want to add another bad life to the next. Try to understand other people, I'm tired of understanding other people all the time. Even though you don't understand me, you don't even try, you just keep trying to corner me. I will try to be a good person when I do good to myself too, I always do good to others but I treat myself badly. I would feel unfair wouldn't I? Yes, maybe I'm always feeling sad inside. She'll feel like I'm not treating her well and she might just get fed up with me and leave me. I don't want her to not try to be with me through other difficulties and sorrows. She tried to make me happy, but I poured out sadness. I feel the evil that is given by myself.

Am I too selfish now? How to say huh. If life is too hard to feel and think, then I have to be tougher right? Because life can erode me slowly if I get weaker and weaker.